.......use humor to its full potential.

Took a few days off of this.  No particular reason, just letting some things happen without hoopla. 

We are nearing the day of surgery.  Spirits are pretty good right now.  We have decided to use humor to its full potential.  That's pretty much the idea behind this post.  Do not let the best parts of you get caught up in negativity and sadness.  It has been said forever, that laughter is the best medicine.  Science has given us statistics to prove that healing, good physical health, and good mental health are all benefited by laughter.  The following is an excerpt from an article on WebMd discussing the physical effects of laughter:

In the last few decades, researchers have studied laughter's effects on the body and turned up some potentially interesting information on how it affects us:

• Blood flow. Researchers at the University of Maryland studied the effects on blood vessels when people were shown either comedies or dramas. After the screening, the blood vessels of the group who watched the comedy behaved normally -- expanding and contracting easily. But the blood vessels in people who watched the drama tended to tense up, restricting blood flow.
  
• Immune response. Increased stress is associated with decreased immune system response, says Provine. Some studies have shown that the ability to use humor may raise the level of infection-fighting antibodies in the body and boost the levels of immune cells, as well.
  
• Blood sugar levels. One study of 19 people with diabetes looked at the effects of laughter on blood sugar levels. After eating, the group attended a tedious lecture. On the next day, the group ate the same meal and then watched a comedy. After the comedy, the group had lower blood sugar levels than they did after the lecture.
  
• Relaxation and sleep. The focus on the benefits of laughter really began with Norman Cousin's memoir, Anatomy of an Illness. Cousins, who was diagnosed with ankylosing spondylitis, a painful spine condition, found that a diet of comedies, like Marx Brothers films and episodes of Candid Camera, helped him feel better. He said that ten minutes of laughter allowed him two hours of pain-free sleep.

(the full article can be found here. )

As a lot of you know, comedy comes pretty easy to me.  I can attribute most of that to my genetics. My dad is one the funniest, quick witted, sharp tongued people I have ever met.  He taught us kids well.  In fact, to know my paternal side of the family is to know true laughter,  especially as medicine.  Spend ten minutes in the waiting room at any hospital with some of us and you will understand.  Attend a family funeral and you will certainly see more laughter than tears.  And those are the sad times! 

My mother was no slouch in the humor department herself.  Although her humor was a little more cerebral at times, and she was a wonderful straight man, even when she had no idea of the role to which she had been assigned. 

What a wonderful combination of influence!  It will come in very handy this next year.  Thank goodness Mawg has had 24 years of exposure and she not only understands my sense of humor, but appreciates it and often joins in. 

So, take the time to laugh.  Find the giggles in everything, they are there!  I leave you with a laugh for the day. 

One of the top three things on my bucket list is to buy

out and entire concert.  Then the artist will come out

on stage all dramatically, and it will be just me

sitting there like...

Much love and peace my friends!





Ok we officially got the name of what we have today. (We had it the whole time, but noone thought to write it down to remember until today)  It is

 INVASIVE DUCTAL CARCINOMA.

After an appointment with the surgeon today, Mawg learned that her surgery date is June 5th at 7:30 in the morning.  Here is what we know about what they will be doing at that time.  There are 5 to 25 lymph nodes located in the breast, all of those will have to come out, as well as the two masses in the breast.  That will take about 70% of the breast tissue away, so Mawg has decided to go with the full mastectomy.  This will do a couple of things, it will make recovery a little bit easier.  It also makes the chance for remission very low, as low as a 1%.  Next they remove at one lymph node from under the left arm.  There is a little bit of risk of rotator cuff trouble, maybe some nerve damage, and a LOT of swelling in her arm.  But there are always risks associated with surgery so overall we are pretty comfortable with it.  Finally they will be inserting a port/catheter into her chest that will be used for medications, chemo, and whatever else they come up with.  We are having that done while the rest is happening to get it out of the way instead of waiting till they start the chemo two weeks after her surgery. 

There will be some rehab involved to help with the recovery process after the underarm surgery, and then the year of chemo and radiation.  This will be a quick turn-around.  In on the 5th, home by the 6th barring any complications. 

Thank you to all of you for your prayers and support.  We are eternally greatful for the family and friends that are holding us up on a daily basis through all of this.  We love you all.  God Bless!

A message from Marguerite.

Occasionaly I will include here posts that are typed by me, but are the experiences of Mawg.  She has asked if I would help her word her thoughts, and I am more than happy to do so.  This is the first of those.  Most of the day was spent by her and her sister at the hospital getting tests done to prepare for the upcoming surgery.  This is her story:



Another round of tests and procedures today.  First was the plastic surgeon.  A very nice middle aged man who explained everything in a manner that was easily understood.  He explained the advantages and disadvantages of reconstructive surgery.   They could immediately do a few things that would lead to an eventual reconstructed breast.  But this can cause problems in many areas.  From delayed recovery, to delayed treatment, to multiple surgeries to get the correct size.  I took all this in and gave it some consideration, but for the most part, I had already made up my mind.  My life over my vanity.  There are many things I can do to deal with the cosmetic side of things.  It's not really my priority.  So I thanked him for the offer, but have decided against.

Next came the bone scan.  They started an IV and injected a radioactive marker into me.  The technician assured me that I wouldn't glow in the dark when we were finished.  So far she is right.  Then it was off to the CT scan.  More into the IV, this time it was iodine.  Tasted like shit, make me feel like I was on fire, and good lord did I have to pee all of a sudden.  Done for the day.  The results from all of this will come at the next appoinment on Thurdsay. 

Other than this, there isn't much more to tell.  I have been a little tired lately, could be a little sick, might just be a little bummed out.  Either way, I find a way to shake it all off and keep a good head on my shoulders.  Thanks again to all of you for your prayers. 

I love you all!

Marguerite

05/21/2012

Hi everyone!  Jerry here again.  I would like to share with all of you my thoughts about today.  I completely agree with Mawg's decision concerning the reconstructive surgery.  Or I guess I should say the decision against it.  This is about her fight and her choices in that fight.  I personally am happy she opted out.  I would rather avoid the obstacles that we can. 

Please join my facebook page for updates and further discussions.  Thank you all for your love, prayers, and support.   FACEBOOK PAGE

inspiration

When another man feels up your wife...

I can't imagine how Mawg must have felt this morning.  (For those who do not know, Mawg is the only name I have called Marguerite from pretty much the first day.  So from here on out, that's what I will be using.)  I was a total wreck.  We both just pretty much got ready on instinct.  There were a couple of conversations.  Of that I am sure, but their topics?  Couldn't begin to tell you.   Once Amanda got here the jokes and tension breakers started flowing and I knew that it was going to be okay. 

Once at the office, some information was exchanged at the reception desk and we waited about 5 minutes before they called us back.  Mawg was told to change into the gown and wait for the doctor.  What seemed like forever later, and while I was in the restroom naturally, the doc finally came in.  He asked a few easy questions.  Any history of breast cancer....  Any yadda yadda...  Then he asked if he could examine her.  When another man feels up your wife, normally you would expect to crash a bit of devastation in his general direction.  I was surprisingly calm.  I actually have to admit, they guy has technique.  He must.  He didn't get slapped like I always do when I have a handful. 

Once finished with the exam he very calmly sat, looked at his chart, and said it.  "Well, you have breast cancer....." There was surely more than just that, but that's pretty much what I heard and it echoed for the next few seconds.  Okay, that wasn't so tough.  I guess being told it's pretty much cancer had it's merits after all.  Without really giving the information time to sink too far home, the doctor explained a few things.

As far as breast cancer goes, this is a bad one.  The tumor that is in the breast is 6.3 cm.  There is also one that is 3 cm in the lymph nodes. It fits the criteria of Stage Three Breast Cancer. The plan of attack is aggressive.  Mawg will have a mastectomy of the left breast as soon as they get the surgery and preliminary tests scheduled.  There will also be some type of surgery to remove the one under the arm.  That will be followed by 4 months of chemotherapy, and then 6 months of radiation.  This won't be an easy road but if done correctly and with the grace of God, as it stands right now this is a curable cancer.   

So there we have it.  Problem identified, plan of action developed, achievable goal established.  We haven't really taken an emotional inventory yet.  That will come sometime in the next couple of days.  For now, you know what we know.  Thanks for all the prayers and support.  Much love and as always peace to you all.

We're off to see The Wizard!

Appointment this morning with the doctor.  I think this is the oncologist, but I am not sure.  It is the big reveal.  After this, we will know what we are fighting, and how equipped we are for battle.  I probably should have eaten breakfast, but I just can't get an appetite this morning. Amanda will be here in just a moment.  It's certainly nice to know that my princess will be sitting by our side today.  Her and her brother really do good by their mom.   We did a good job with them despite our shortcomings.   And....on that note we are off to see The Wizard.

"So.....it is cancer?..."

Today started like any normal day.  My daughter brought Maggie over early for us to babysit while she worked and my son in law helped out a family member.  Cheyenne woke up with a beautiful smile ready to take on the day.  I actually slept in a little thanks to a caring wife that kept it quiet in the house.  Quiet that is till the phone rang around 9:30 am.  I was still in that hazy, confusing state of semi-sleep.  I couldn't exactly hear the conversation the wife was having, and I had no idea who was on the other end of the line, but something forced me to clear my head and pay closer attention.  It was at that point that I heard my wife in a shaken voice say the words that will surely forever reverberate in my memory,

"so....it IS cancer..."
This was no secret, there was no surprise, we even expected those words to be spoken at some time in this process.  Knowing this, we have spent the last couple of days preparing as best as possible to be strong when the moment came.  Not losing one opportunity for a hug, or a kiss, or a simple pat on the leg of reassurance and love.  Taking the time to say "it's going to be alright" in passing.  Showing each other courage and strength with something as simple as a wink and a smile.  All of this designed to construct around us a cushion or buffer zone hoping to ease some of the shock and pain when the moment came.  It would be wonderful for me to report to you that being prepared made it all so much easier, but I have to tell you that just isn't the case.  Nothing can prepare you for the news that someone you love is facing their mortality directly.  My heart was crushed.  Question after question begged for attention in my mind.  Fear, confusion, anger, and sorrow took turns running laps in my heart.  What do we do now?  The game had forever been changed and I hadn't trained for this.

 Whether or not you prepare for the future, it happens.  That's the harsh reality of the indifference of destiny.

We spent the rest of the morning breaking the news to family and our closest friends before posting it on Facebook.   Support and sympathy was the theme for the day mixed with a smattering of advice and inspiration.  Proof once again that Mawg and I have this beautiful cirle of life that encompasses some of the most caring, loving, and beautiful people God has ever brought together.   We then took a few moments alone, together.  Allowing the overflow of emotion.  Holding on to each other tight enough to keep us in place while the rest of the Universe was spinning in the way it does each and every moment in time.   We used that few seconds to reassure each other that this was just another fight.  We are okay with a fight.  Hell we are the World Tag Team Champions!  We have faced men, moments, and machines that have kicked us around, and at given moments either one of us may have been down for a two count.  But that's one of us, and there are two on this team.

 Nothing has ever beaten us as a team in twenty four years.  This isn't going to be the first.